Rita And The Pizza GuyCopyright 2006 Stan Lynessuptempo country, male or female voice |
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 MIDI only | |
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LEAD-IN: C F G7 C
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He had a driver's license. He had a little goatee.
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He was everything I wanted to be
He was all a man of the world could be
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When he began to woo my sister,
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drove her home from school and kissed her,
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The Pizza Guy brought class to the family.
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My Mom and Dad approved of course of this hard-working boy,
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and I was glad I knew the source of triple-topping joy.
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It was heaven there in pizza paradise,
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until my Mom walked in on Rita and The Pizza Guy.
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Rita taught me to spit and to climb a tree
Then she turned teen an' quit trainin' me.
So when Pizza Guy began teachin'
those subjects school was weak in,
I got my back-alley laureate degree.
I learned to run through neighborhoods where dogs won't let you walk
and run an eight-ball table good and fast while on the clock.
I learned many skills that I can still apply
before my Mom walked in on Rita and The Pizza Guy.
BRIDGE:
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My folks explained how Rita And The Pizza Guy had sinned.
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They told me Pizza Guy was banned from seein' her again.
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But all their righteous little sermons couldn't tell me why
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we couldn't just get rid of her and keep The Pizza Guy.
Ever since the night Pizza Guy got banned
my town, my home, my meals got bland:
When we was low on groceries,
we could only get Chinese.
My life was not at all the life I'd planned:
I said goodbye to 60-mile-an-hour rides through town
clinging to the seat just trying to keep the pizza down.
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I moped around that boring town 'til I
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could legally take the wheel
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of a rusty deathmobile,
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push the pedal to the floor,
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pop the clutch out let 'er roar,
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fly through town an' realize my
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dream to be The Pizza Guy